Raising Children Against the Odds: Understanding and Supporting Single-Parent Families
By
Adedayo Ige
Single parenting is a reality that millions of families worldwide navigate every day. It describes situations where one parent, either mother or father, assumes full responsibility for raising a child in the absence of the other. As Ali and Soomar (2019) explain, single parenting emerges when one parent becomes solely accountable for the nurturing and day-to-day wellbeing of their children. This reality can arise for several reasons, including spousal death, divorce, early or forced marriage, teenage or unplanned pregnancy, desertion, imprisonment, rape, in vitro fertilisation (IVF), or voluntary adoption by a single individual.
While some causes, such as death, are unavoidable, others, particularly child marriage, are preventable injustices. Child marriage directly violates the Nigerian Child’s Rights Act. Section 21 renders any marriage with a person under 18 null and void, while Section 22 prohibits parents or guardians from betrothing children. These acts constitute offences under law and continue to perpetuate cycles of vulnerability, including premature single parenthood.
The Prevalence of Single Parenting
Single parenting is not unique to Nigeria; it is a global phenomenon. However, local statistics show its deepening impact. In Anambra State of Nigeria, it is reported that 73.3% of single parents are women, compared to 26.7% who are men. A 2020 KAINOS Edge Data Service survey of 25,000 households found that approximately 11% of Nigerian households are headed by single parents. Globally, an estimated 320 million children under 17 live with just one parent (NISER, 2024).
The United States provides another stark example: about 70% of African American children are raised in single-parent homes (Ballard, 2020). These figures illustrate a global trend that transcends borders, cultures, and economic status.
Debunking Myths: Single Parenting and Child Outcomes
Growing up in a single-parent home does not predetermine failure. History is filled with individuals who emerged from family crises to achieve greatness.
John D. Rockefeller’s father frequently abandoned the family, forcing him to become emotionally and economically independent early in life, yet he rose to become a global oil magnate. Dr. Ben Carson’s father left when he was only eight, but with the unrelenting support of his mother, he grew into one of the world’s most celebrated neurosurgeons.
These examples do not romanticise hardship; instead, they highlight that with stability, support, and love, children can thrive regardless of their family structure.
Challenges Faced by Single-Parent Families
Single parenting often comes with complex emotional, social, and economic challenges. In many African communities, parental responsibilities are traditionally divided along gender lines. Fathers are viewed primarily as providers and disciplinarians, while mothers handle caregiving and home management. When one parent is absent, the gap becomes deeply felt.
Common challenges include:
1. Emotional Strain on Children
Children may experience:
- Low self-esteem
- Feelings of abandonment
- Anger or intolerant behaviour
- Depression triggered by insensitive comments
- Anxiety following an unexpected family crisis
Girls without present and emotionally supportive fathers may seek affection elsewhere, sometimes exposing them to exploitation and vulnerability.
2. Psychological and Cognitive Impacts
Research shows children from crisis-ridden homes may face:
- Poor academic performance
- Social withdrawal
- Difficulty forming healthy relationships
- Increased risk of substance use
A Harvard University longitudinal study further revealed striking health outcomes linked to early childhood emotional bonds. Thirty-five years after initial assessment, 91% of respondents who reported poor maternal relationships developed major health issues such as coronary artery disease and hypertension, compared to 45% of those who enjoyed warm early attachments.
3. Social and Cultural Pressures
In some Nigerian communities, children of single parents are often placed with relatives based on the belief they will receive better care. However, this may weaken their emotional bond, create instability, and expose them to neglect, especially when sympathisers lose interest over time.
4. Lack of Awareness of Legal Protections
Many parents are unaware of what the Child’s Rights Act guarantees.
Sections 8 and 14 emphasise that:
- Every child is entitled to family life.
- Parents must provide guidance, education, support, and protection.
- Custody decisions must prioritise the child’s best interest.
Strengthening awareness is crucial for preventing neglect and promoting accountability.
The Role of Society and Government
Supporting children is a collective responsibility. Article 19 of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child obligates governments to shield children from abuse, neglect, and exploitation—whether by parents, guardians, or caregivers.
Government intervention is especially needed to curb the rising rate of paternal desertion in Nigeria. Desertion has lingered for generations, but longevity should never justify injustice. Strengthening social protection systems, enforcing child support laws, and providing community-based support can help reduce the burden on single parents.
Building Stronger Single-Parent Families: What Works?
For single parents striving to raise healthy, grounded children, the following approaches are vital:
1. Prioritise Children’s Emotional and Mental Health
- Seek counselling and therapy when necessary.
- Maintain open communication with children.
- Avoid involving them in marital conflicts.
2. Strengthen Parent–Child Bonds
Daily meaningful interactions help children develop a sense of security and resilience. Strong bonds reinforce optimism and improve social and academic outcomes.
3. Set Boundaries with Love
Children thrive on structure. A lack of boundaries can lead to behavioural and mental health challenges. Love must coexist with consistency, discipline, and guidance.
4. Model the Behaviour You Want to See
James Baldwin reminds us:
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
Parents do not have to be perfect—just present, loving, and intentional.
5. Celebrate the Journey
Single parents carry an extraordinary responsibility. As Lisa Wingate beautifully puts it:
“Your children are the greatest gift God will give to you, and their souls the heaviest responsibility He will place in your hands.”
Every act of love, sacrifice, and commitment shapes the adults these children will become.
Conclusion
Single parenting is an odyssey – one marked by resilience, sacrifice, and profound love. While structural, emotional, and economic challenges exist, they can be overcome through supportive policies, empowered communities, and intentional parenting. As John F. Kennedy reminded us,
“Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.”
Our responsibility—individually and collectively—is to ensure those messages are filled with hope, dignity, and opportunity.
References
– Nigeria Institute of Social and Economic Research (NISER), 2024. Single parenting is inevitable and challenging but can be navigated through. NISER Policy brief (3), http://niser.gov.ng, Pp 1,2.
– Ali S., and Soomar S., 2019. Single parenting: Understanding reasons and consequences. Juniper Online Journal of Nurse Health Care 10(2), http://juniperpublishers.com, page 1.
– Policy and Legal Advocacy Centre. Child’s Rights Act 2003, http://placng.org – Study.com, 2025. Effects of life events and family crisis, http://study.com
– Ballard K., 2020. The life-long impact of absent fathers. TEDxWilsonPark Talks, www.youtube.com/@TEDx
Adedayo Ige is an Early Childhood Education Professional and Child Development Project Officer at Help Initiative
